Anonymous asked: Okay, sorry to bother you with this, but I don’t have anyone to talk to this about who can relate. I’m a fat girl and I have no problem seeing how beautiful and hot and amazing other fatties are, but I still hate my body… I guess I’m just wondering if that’s normal?
Jessica: I mean normal’s a weird idea to me. Is it common? Yeah definitely.
I mean, it makes no sense to say you see beauty in people who are similar if not the same to you but you won’t allow yourself to deserve that same thing.
What makes you so undeserving?
Your fear maybe?
It takes a lot of courage and TIME (I can’t stress that enough) to start tearing down the negative messages we receive about our body and our worth.
Being able to see beauty in others is a nice first step though :) You’ll get there. Be kind to yourself and remember you’re your own worst enemy. Make the conscious decision to be nicer to yourself.
When you catch yourself thinking something awful about yourself, switch it around and find a positive. Apologize to yourself. It really makes a difference.
It sounds cheesy and airy I know, but I apologize to myself all the time. I apologize when I don’t take care of my body or respect its needs. I apologize when I think something negative about it or when I didn’t stand up for it against bullies.
Trick your brain back into a loving place :)
Keep your chin up!! xoxoxo
sometimes i wish i could be jessica. i guess these words would just sound terribly patronizing coming from a man, but they are truly the best advice i could give if asked the question. i don’t reblog tangledupinlace often, but I couldn’t resist in this case.
“There are the occasions that men—intellectual men, clever men, engaged men—insist on playing devil’s advocate, desirous of a debate on some aspect of feminist theory or reproductive rights or some other subject generally filed under the heading: Women’s Issues. These intellectual, clever, engaged men want to endlessly probe my argument for weaknesses, want to wrestle over details, want to argue just for fun—and they wonder, these intellectual, clever, engaged men, why my voice keeps raising and why my face is flushed and why, after an hour of fighting my corner, hot tears burn the corners of my eyes. Why do you have to take this stuff so personally? ask the intellectual, clever, and engaged men, who have never considered that the content of the abstract exercise that’s so much fun for them is the stuff of my life.”—Melissa McEwan, of course, on the terrible bargain. My life as a woman, as a queer person, as a fat person, is not your thought experiment. (via sanitywatchers)